(image from pinterest)
We all have a truth. This truth is created the moment we open our eyes and the moment that we close them for sleep. In that truth are many colours, there are many sounds, many sensations, and many smells, tastes, and feelings. Our truth is OUR TRUTH and no-one else's, and we can take comfort in this. After the past few weeks, on reflection I have come to realise that truth is all about perspective, and just because some else's truth is different to yours, doesn't make their truth (or mine) any less valid. There really is no use fighting over something that is coloured differently, holding grudges over something that is felt differently. Fighting is pointless, forgiveness is the most poignant of truths. I have learnt that I can forgive, can you?
(image from pinterest)
There is someone I know who told me that, perhaps the most pertinent thing about hurt, truth, and forgiveness is learning to let go. You know who you are. Essentially people will remember things differently and can perhaps not know that hurt is created in the telling. This goes both ways, always remember that! This person, upon being told something that hurt, then had a choice, they could argue, fight back. OR they could let it pass, This person has always chosen to let it pass.
I chose to let all things pass.
Because we are really the sum of our actions and not our words, or our thoughts or our anger or even our joy. We are all connected, and whether you are the one hurt or causing hurt or both, to let go is really the only option. The question is, however, how do we let go?
(image from pinterest)
I have started my process of letting go of many years of pent up hurt and anger that is based on my truth - but an old truth. AND old truths are in the past and this is not healthy to hang onto.
The first step on this journey of letting go is acknowledging my own mistakes, owning them, contemplating on what I can learn from them. This will be an ongoing process.
I have also started a mantra that I say to myself anytime that the negativity, anger and hurt invades my mind - "Positive, strong, loving"
I am also going to write my anger out . . . that is all you will know of that one, cause, sorry kiddo's there will be no telling/gossiping here.
I am also going to start up my yoga practice again (something I do regret letting slide, but you know, back up on the horse again, so to speak)
I am also going to make sure that I do something just for me once a week, whether that be go for a walk by myself, turn off all technology for a day and read a book instead, or buy myself a little treat - when funding allows.
I have been inspired by Tinybuddha and her wonderful 40 TIPS on letting and feeling less pain (you should read all of Tinybuddha's blog, it's awesome!!). Do you have any tips for letting go? Go on, leave a comment, let us know!!
image from pinterest
I do like to write things as much from the heart as much as possible - it is always better to be authentic and true to your self then to try and embody what other people see you as or how they think you should be. This post is definitely going to be one from the heart.
It's been a tough few weeks, extra tough because I expected them to be awesome, fun-filled weeks. But it's been a matter of discontent that has spread from a little inconsideration that was being thrown my way. I am not going to name names, or even let you know the absolute gist of the issue, that is between me and the people involved, but I do want to share with you the emotional journey that I have been on, the epiphanies that have struck along the way, and the person I am evolving into because of what's been going down. So here we go . . .
I have been heartbroken.
image from pinterest
I have been distraught, tearful, angsty, panicky, and generally not well.
It is the personal stress that has been weighing me down, both financially and relationship-wise, and this stress has, quite literally been making me ill (I kid you not - vomiting, gagging, inability to breath, tension headaches, aching muscles, the works).
This is not good.
So I decided to change the situation. I didn't want to be crying anymore, I didn't want to be vomiting anymore, I didn't want to feel powerless anymore, I wanted to get my life back on track towards a healthy life free of all the nasties - bad food, apathy, stress, and inactivity. So I led myself from heartbreak.. I woke up and became an active participant in my own life . . . and guess what? It's f-ing tough Baby!!!! But so so worth it!
It's tough because you have to own up to your own truths, your own imperfections, but also acknowledge that the blame doesn't always lay at your door. In this case I had to man up (or should that be woman up? Goddess up?). So . . .
I MANNED UP!!
Instead of suffering in silence I chose to let my hurt out, to air it, to expose it, to make myself vulnerable to someone else who was also vulnerable. I ceased to be the strong one and made myself the open one, the one that is angry and frustrated and sad. Issues got spoken of, truths were told, and love was exchanged through tears and hugs.
But most importantly . . .
MY TRUTH WAS SET FREE.
We are all vulnerable. Embrace it, be hurt and let the person who has hurt you know it. Give the other person chance to know that they have wronged you (cause you know, we humans can be pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff . . . myself included), and allow them the space to try and fix it.
image from pinterest
The person I am is one who is now truly strong. I have set my boundaries and will guard them fastidiously - except for when I see there has to be movement for change, then I will change these boundaries for myself and no-one else. I am going to let myself be vulnerable in front of the people that make me feel vulnerable and I am going to let them see my truth, just as I hope to see theirs.
to remember that love is the ultimate healer of all things, and those that say otherwise . . . let me give you a hug and some love, then you will see.
Life lessons can come in the most unexpected of ways, the toughest weeks can sometimes end up being exactly what you need. What has been a recent life lesson for you? Let me know in the comments . . .
What can I tell you guys . . . it's been an interesting week or so, with quite a few epiphanies popping into my ol' noggin' (epiphany, one of my favourite words . . . ep-iph-an-y, epiphany!!). Do you have those weeks? They seem a little crazy, a little "what the hell is going on," a tiny bit of this is good . . . but this over here is really frustrating!! Well, yep, it's been that kinda week, and I have been presented with a few opportunities for personal growth and I would like to share some of this with you through some pertinent themes I have been exploring these past few weeks with schools . . . so here we go . . .
The title of this blog post was the central theme of the talk I have been doing for students at Fairfield Prep, Wellington School and Woodbridge Comprehensive. So let's have a look at what I talked about . . .
are those events that happen everyday. They may seem insignificant at the time, but can end up being such an important moment in your life. The thing is, it isn't even about being aware they are life changing moments when they happen, but it's about acknowledging your past as having been a part of creating your present and then showing gratitude for that.
The moment I often talk about is the moment my brother introduced me to our swimming pool sans floaties. It was a scary moment, a little moment, a split second event that shaped my future - yet at the age of five I had no idea that this event would affect me so much.
Can you think back to such a moment in your own life? One that has so blatantly influenced and affected your future? How has it impacted your life?
In life we are constantly faced with decisions - what to wear, what to eat for breakfast, what time to leave the house, where to fill up the car, what to say, what to think, what to feel . . . . cause you may not realise it, but how we feel, think, and speak are decision processes that can affect us on either a negative or positive level. SO, decisions will usually be based around HOW you DECIDE to feel (or respond or action).
One of the BIGGEST decisions I ever had to make was entrenched in feelings of embarrassment, shame, and mortification - the event that caused this? Being disqualified from my first ever swimming race at a disabled competition . . . and not just ANY competition, but the STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS as well!!!
I was petrified, I was a shy 13 year old clinging desperately to a dream, a dream so big that many people usually don't even attempt to go for it. This dream? The 2000 Paralympic Games - so important! Right? My very first race was the 50m Breaststroke - a stroke that I am so rubbish at that I couldn't even do the kick properly. Up on the blocks I felt sick, and had to consciously try and hold back heaving into the pool. My toes were white as they gripped the edge of the block and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. The gun went - BANG!! - I dove in, glided, surfaced . . .
and started swimming front crawl . . .
about ten metres into the race I realised my error and quickly switched to breaststroke, but essentially the damage was done. As I finished the race I hoped upon hope that my error hadn't been noticed . . . but it had. As I got out of the pool an official walked up to me and informed me that I had been disqualified. I did what any 13 year old, painfully shy girl would do and burst into tears, mortified. My dad came running down from the stands and took me aside. We now come to decision time . . .
My dad said to me "right, you want to go home so we will, lets go pack your bag, pull you out of the other races, go home, I won't take you training tomorrow or the next day, or the day after that, forget about the Paralympics, move on from your dream . . . OR, we stay, learn from your mistake, swim in the next race, and that race after that, tomorrow I'll take you training, I'll take you to your next competition, and the one after that, and the one after that, keep going with your dream and succeed."
Well, I am sure you know which path I decided to take . . . (the three Paralympic Medals I have are a dead giveaway!) I decided to take my embarrassment and funnel it into a learning experience, what could i learn from that mistake, how can I step into the future knowing that it will never happen again, it will make me better!
AND then there is the rewards from those momentous events and difficult decisions. I know your expecting me to say the Paralympics was my reward, the medals, the records . . . they were amazing and definitely worth the pain, but my true reward, my most treasured prize was my self belief. Without the self belief in myself, in my abilities, in my 'gifts' I would not have won my medals . . . I don't even know if I would have made the Paralympics!!
This true realisation of absolute belief in my self came in the 400m Freestyle. Ranked 16th in the world I felt that my chances of a medal were low, but my home coach had been telling me for months, 'That 400m's in YOUR race, that is your race for a MEDAL!" He was right, he believed in my abilities, and I learnt to as well. When I had my silver medal hung around my neck it was the culmination of all the physical/mental/spiritual strength that had developed in the preceding seven years. All the lessons, moments, decisions, led to that point - MY BIG REWARD!
Do you have a dream? A goal? It can be something as big as the Paralympics, or it could be something as simple as being able to cook a meal better. Whatever it is it is valid and open to HUGE lessons, lessons that can affect all areas of your life. SO, as you journey on your path of life, keep your eyes open, be aware of each moment, each feeling, don't leap at decision making, take time to open your heart to possibility, and reap the rewards whatever they may be . . .
Have you ever had those "Do'h" moments where you beat yourself up, wonder where your brain was at, and generally feel like a fool?? I mean, we all have these moments right? It's only human to err, to make mistakes, to only just avert horrific catastrophe, isn't it??
I erred last week, in quite a big way . . . or what felt like a big way. The mistake was remedied efficiently and with grace, on both sides, and for me, it really was the GIANT KICK UP THE BACKSIDE that I needed.
I won't go into details (out of respect for myself, but more so the other party).
BUT . . .
it was a lesson learnt, and the lesson?
A NEED TO ADDRESS AND CONTINUE TO ADDRESS ORGANISATIONAL AND TIME MANAGEMENT ISSUES.
Yep, it was an organisational and time management issue on my part that caused the issue . . . I own it!! It was my error, my mistake, and I OWN IT!!!
Cause I own it I am now learning and growing in a positive way, I have addressed my time management issues and am in the process of implementing better organisational processes . . . not only so my business will run better and more efficiently, but also so I don't stress as much (and hence compromise my health, cause really guys, stress is numero uno of evil immunity killers!!)
I owned my mistake - have you owned yours lately?
and if so . . .
what lesson has been wrought from it?
(share in the comments if you please!)