Heart Ache, Empowerment, and all the Icky (but good for you) Stuff In-between.

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I do like to write things as much from the heart as much as possible - it is always better to be authentic and true to your self then to try and embody what other people see you as or how they think you should be. This post is definitely going to be one from the heart.

It's been a tough few weeks, extra tough because I expected them to be awesome, fun-filled weeks. But it's been a matter of discontent that has spread from a little inconsideration that was being thrown my way. I am not going to name names, or even let you know the absolute gist of the issue, that is between me and the people involved, but I do want to share with you the emotional journey that I have been on, the epiphanies that have struck along the way, and the person I am evolving into because of what's been going down. So here we go . . . 



I have been heartbroken.

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I have been distraught, tearful, angsty, panicky, and generally not well.

STRESS

It is the personal stress that has been weighing me down, both financially and relationship-wise, and this stress has, quite literally been making me ill (I kid you not - vomiting, gagging, inability to breath, tension headaches, aching muscles, the works).

This is not good.

So I decided to change the situation. I didn't want to be crying anymore, I didn't want to be vomiting anymore, I didn't want to feel powerless anymore, I wanted to get my life back on track towards a healthy life free of all the nasties - bad food, apathy, stress, and inactivity. So I led myself from heartbreak.. I woke up and became an active participant in my own life . . . and guess what? It's f-ing tough Baby!!!! But so so worth it!

It's tough because you have to own up to your own truths, your own imperfections, but also acknowledge that the blame doesn't always lay at your door. In this case I had to man up (or should that be woman up? Goddess up?). So . . . 

I MANNED UP!!

Instead of suffering in silence I chose to let my hurt out, to air it, to expose it, to make myself vulnerable to someone else who was also vulnerable. I ceased to be the strong one and made myself the open one, the one that is angry and frustrated and sad. Issues got spoken of, truths were told, and love was exchanged through tears and hugs.


But most importantly . . . 

MY TRUTH WAS SET FREE.



Epiphany?

We are all vulnerable. Embrace it, be hurt and let the person who has hurt you know it. Give the other person chance to know that they have wronged you (cause you know, we humans can be pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff . . . myself included), and allow them the space to try and fix it.

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The person I am is one who is now truly strong. I have set my boundaries and will guard them fastidiously - except for when I see there has to be movement for change, then I will change these boundaries for myself and no-one else. I am going to let myself be vulnerable in front of the people that make me feel vulnerable and I am going to let them see my truth, just as I hope to see theirs.

AND

to remember that love is the ultimate healer of all things, and those that say otherwise . . . let me give you a hug and some love, then you will see.


Life lessons can come in the most unexpected of ways, the toughest weeks can sometimes end up being exactly what you need. What has been a recent life lesson for you? Let me know in the comments . . .