What makes you stop in your tracks, heart palpitate, goosebumps arise on your skin, your emotions to soar, and to feel like you are part of something bigger? Have you ever actually stopped to think about this and what this actual feeling is? And also think about what this feeling might inspire you to do?
For me there are three particular things that evoke a sense of awe and inspiration in my life: music, nature, and seeing miracles happen (what do I mean by miracles? keep on reading!)
Music - I know this won’t necessarily be a popular choice (though a number of you must like these two bands as they are two of the most popular bands in the world), but whenever I listen to or see in concert or watch their music videos, U2 and Coldplay (though think Coldplay Viva la Vida and before), I descend into a shivering mess of insignificance. Whatever it is in, not only their lyrics, but the actual music as well, touches my heart somehow and makes me believe that love is all there is and that together we can make the world a better place. Some of their songs I have times where I can’t even listen to as they are too painfully beautiful for me to deal with i.e., I cry, feel sad, and yet elated at the same time.
Nature - When I was looking into awe I came across this short video that uses nature and music to evoke a sense of awe in the viewer. Created by the Greater Good Centre it is a scientifically (and dare I say it beautifully artistic) interpretation of awe and for me it completely elicited a sense of timelessness, boundlessness, God-ness, Universe-ness, whatever you want to call it. I have felt this in nature as well, even without the accompanying music, especially when going into the Blue Mountains in NSW, Australia, and the Scottish Highlands. These places are so wild, sensually overwhelming, and in particular, the size of the mountains elicit a sense of insignificance and humbleness. What are we to the majesty of nature.
Miracles - When I speak of miracles I don’t mean the mystical kind, necessarily, I don’t want to discount mystical occurrences (if I claim to be an open-minded person than I have to be open-minded), but I mean the everyday miracles that we humans are capable of. When I see news stories of people being kind, loving, and/or giving it makes my heart burst and again, that feeling of insignificance and humility takes over. It reaffirms for me that most of the time we humans are capable of being compassionate, open, and accepting and it affirms my belief in others, in community, and in the bigger picture.
Studies have been done looking at what elicits awe in people, with nature being one of the most prominent; spiritual experiences also rate high, but it doesn’t always have to be big event or thing that creates awe, something small and personal could elicit that response. Comment below and let me know what elicits awe in you. But are you asking what exactly is awe?
According to Keltner and Haidt (2003) and other studies since, awe has been described as “feelings of self-diminishment and increased connectedness with other people. Experiencing awe often puts people in a self-transcendent state where they focus less on themselves and feel more like a part of a larger whole.” The researchers relate this to the concept of flow, that we become so lost in the action, the event, the focus, the feeling, that we cease to feel a sense of individualism and instead feel interconnected.
What are the benefits of experiencing awe and why should we bring it into our lives and the lives of the people around us (i.e., pupils, staff, family)? Studies show that experiencing awe can have some pretty amazing affects on our minds, bodies, and souls. Firstly, because of the physiological response that awe can have, including heart rate changes and ‘goosebumps’, feeling awe can actually lower inflammation in the body. Psychologically awe diminishes our sense of self, increases prosocial connectedness, increases our positive moods, and even can give us a sense of more time. Perhaps, most importantly for all of us, experiencing awe can make us kinder and more generous.
So what could you do today (or tonight) to bring a sense of awe into your life or into the lives of those around you? If you are at home, in the morning or evening, watch this video from Greater Good to lift your mood and get a positive boost for the day. If you work in a school choose to play a song in assembly or class to start the day that kids are loving at the moment, that is positive, and that helps them come together and connect on an emotional level. If you work in a business consider emailing everyone an inspiring TEDx talk, or even consider getting a speaker in who can uplift and inspire with a powerful story.
Let me know how you are bringing more awe into your life, catch me on twitter here - @esioul or on instagram here - Elizabeth Wright.
Ego can be a contentious topic - is my ego to big, or is my ego to small (am I too humble). I am sure that we have all asked ourselves this and waded through the murky world of achievement, jealousy, right and wrong…
Scott Barry Kaufman is one of my academic crushes - as in I find his ideas and the way he expresses them fascinating, intriguing, and informing my own ideas about self, wellbeing, psychology, and character. An article he wrote this year is all about the ego and why we have to quieten that pesky voice in our heads and feeling in our hearts that surge like a tidal wave when we feel threatened in any way. You know, that bristly feeling we get when we make a statement and someone responds with a “weeeeeellllllll….”, or when your friend gets a promotion before you, or when you make a very public mistake that feels like the end of the world, and… well, I could go on and on and on. What Kaufman has to say about the ego is fascinating. He defines ego as this - “that aspect of the self that has the incessant need to see itself in a positive light.” And we all want to see ourselves in a positive light right? We like to ignore our shadow selves and only focus on having the world see us as successful and…. right!
Kaufman talks about how we live in a world of tribalism, meaning a world where it seems you have to belong to a group with a strong opinion and you as a group are right and everyone else is wrong. Think of the rise of populist opinions, the different Brexit camps, the Trump supporters and anti-supporters, you are attacked, despised, threatened, and you’re damned if you do and damed if you don’t. This is called ego, and Kaufman says that our egos are just too damn big at the moment. There is this drive to win an argument at all costs, and it is this need to win, to always be right, that is causing so many fractured relationships and communities. Are we really willing to destroy what actually brings us happiness (and research has shown that positive relationships are one important element that makes us happy - check out Sue Roffey’s book Changing Behaviours in Schools) just for the sake of being right, under the pretence that being right at all costs places us in a positive light?
Heidi Wayment and her colleagues are doing some fascinating research into what they term the “quiet ego.” Inspired by Buddhist philosophy and positive psychology, this research programme shows that quietening our ego is actually a more powerful path to wellbeing, growth, and a healthy self-esteem than working hard at self development and improvement. But what is a quiet ego exactly? Is it possible to have a quiet ego?
Over the past few years my housemate and founder of Inspiring Women Changemakers, Anj Handa, and I have had multiple conversations about egos, being humble, and achievements that we have both achieved. I remember a couple of years ago Anj was stumbling over whether she should speak about a particular achievement, I told her of course she should - if it is fact and appropriate to the situation it is not bragging, it is simply stating something wonderful you have done that fits the needs of the moment. I have had to take my own advice on this countless times as I have struggled with that twist of ego inside my chest, am I only telling someone about this achievement to show off or is it a justified moment to state a fact that I am proud of?
Wayment’s “quiet ego” isn’t about squashing the ego out of existence all together but about lowering the tone of it so that become less defensive and more open to others. For Wayment and her colleagues there are four connected aspects to cultivate a “quiet ego”:
Kaufman notes that when you look at these four aspects they should be taken as a “whole system of ego functioning.” To measure whether you have a “quiet ego” cast your eye over the Quiet Ego Scale:
If you agree with a lot of these you would likely score high for a “quiet ego”. Developing a quiet ego, according to Wayment and colleagues research, shows an increase in wellbeing, resilience and coping efficacy. Kaufman also states that people who have or develop a “quiet ego” seek growth through authentic living and positive relationships, develop a healthy self esteem, are humble, spiritual, open-minded, grateful for experiences, take appropriate risk-taking, and recognise meaning in their life. It appears that developing a “quiet ego” is a key part of flourishing in life, no matter your age, place, or demographic.
This blog is a bit of a follow on from the previous blog and is a bold statement that - yes - schools are like a Paralympic Team. Perhaps you are giving a blank look at the screen right now, but that’s okay - “Dream, struggle, create, prevail. Be Daring. Be brave.” so says Caterina Fake - and so I am going to be brave in putting forward an idea that may be understood and embraced, or may fall flat on its face. But you know, I have to try.
See that diagram above? Well I am going to explain it for you… in the context of the Paralympics.
YOU (the athlete) - you the individual, the role model, the role model emulator, the hurdler, the thrower, the cyclist, and swimmer. You who is the teacher, the pupil…. or the athlete, striving constantly to bring out the best in yourself and others.
CLASS (the relay team) - your first (or second, or third) team. Small and close, you bond, build close friendships, learn how you compromise, learn conflict resolution on an intimate level. You learn how to trust and grow within a “family” full of siblings and potential role models. You might only be a team for a short time, a year in a school, a race in the Paralympics, but you have a bond that will last unconsciously for a lifetime. This is your core group each year.
YEAR (Paralympic swim team) - This is the bigger, intermediate team, that you also see every day, and gives you a sense of wider identity and support. This team is like the cousins coming together to have fun and learn with the siblings. It is an opportunity to make friendships outside of your core group and to grow and develop because of the opportunity to be social outside of your brothers and sisters. It is your introduction to citizenship and community. This is the group that may change as each year passes in subtle and not so subtle way, but ultimately it is who you feel defined by - I was the graduating year of 1997 in school AND I was part of the 1996 and 2000 Paralympic Swim team.
SCHOOL (Paralympic team) - This bigger team provides you with a variety of role models and supportive figures that you otherwise wouldn’t have access to. The school is like the Paralympic team (the whole team, inclusive of all sports and athletes involved), you are an integral part of the bigger picture, but you don’t necessarily develop deep, lasting relationships with all of these people. It comes down to identity again though, for a number of years you are part of a community that will define your present and define your future. This bigger community provides a deeper scope for support and inspiration… and again, widens your potential for finding that role model that you might be the one that understands you the most and provides you with the best opportunity to emulate strengths that person has.
... and finally, COMMUNITY (Paralympic movement) - This is the broader community that exists as part of the school, but extends outside of the schools walls. Parents, Governors, community leaders and exemplars are this wider community and they can have a positive impact on the class, year, and school. The community for the Paralympics is that global community of Paralympian’s that inspire me, inspire upcoming Paralympians, and that keep the Paralympic movement alive and growing. This community, that encompasses all the other circles, is the ultimate opportunity for individuals to show citizenship and character growth, it widens horizons, and can help model the best intrinsic culture for the school.
These ripples, these waves of community, role modelling, and emulation, are what create a culture of character. All of these ripples are what support the development of character and good wellbeing, and cross the ripple barriers it is not only the pupils that benefit from this idea of team, but also the teachers, staff, parents, governors, and wider community. So what impact can development of team, relationship building, and making of a community have on the school (and what impact did it have on me as a Paralympic team member)?
The VIA Institute on Character has teamwork as one of their 24 character strengths. As a character strength the key concepts are: Citizenship, Loyalty, and Patriotism. Three key elements that were developed as a team in the Paralympics, and three key elements that can be developed in schools (perhaps patriotism from the sense of being proud of being connected to the school and local community and being able to talk joyfully about its culture). And what happens when you increase the values of teamwork (and by extension responsibility)? Research shows that self esteem can increase, as well as self-respect and group cohesiveness, when you bring development of teamwork into a school. This is because we humans are inherently social creatures, and thus purposeful teamwork will enhance prosocial behaviours and cooperation. On the Paralympic team developing these prosocial skills under the guise of teamwork meant that we had group cohesiveness and support - perhaps shown most aptly through the empathy and compassion shared between athletes when we had losses as well as the cheering and celebration when we had wins. Support became a natural behaviour.
How can you develop more teamwork in your school? Develop a class battlecry, class colours, whole class group activities that encourage the pupils to help each other out to achieve a challenge. Develop a competition between classes in year groups, cross classes when it comes to some activities and assignments so that relationships can develop between “competing” classes. As a school choose a charity or community group that the school will spend the year raising money for, have a fundraising amount aim and encourage the pupils to support each other to raise money - perhaps have older pupils help younger pupils raise money, etc. As a wider community have parent/caregiver/family challenge evenings, where pupils and parents/caregivers have to work together to achieve different challenges in the hall or playground.
You can get more ideas by checking out my book, co-authored with Frederika Roberts, Character Toolkit for Teachers.
As a sports person (and Western citizen born and bred) I have noticed something about our cultures, from Australia to the UK, to the US, and many European countries, we are extremely focused on performance and outcomes. What do I mean by this? Let us look at two examples that I am familiar with - the Olympics/Paralympics and Education.
In the Olympics (AND more recently the Paralympics) there has developed a cult of hero adulation, much to the detriment of the true meaning of sport, that has impacted the wider community, and how we view and articulate success. Athletes are awarded with monetary support from governments, but only if they achieve top results (i.e., being in the top 8 in the world, and/or if you win a medal at the games). This extreme pressure to perform has now been noted to have a detrimental effect on sports peoples mental health and wellbeing.
The wider impact of hero adulation on the community can be mostly seen in two arenas - education and business. In education the epitome of success comes from the multitude of unnecessary tests that students take, tests that are there to bolster the school’s position on league tables, and build their reputation as a school that gets results. But what results? And to the detriment of what? A child’s mental health and wellbeing?
Performance and outcomes; data in, data expressed, and data out. By performance I am meaning specifically the performance traits that we as a Western society purport to be the most important character traits we should develop in ourselves and the coming generations below us. Duckworth, Seligman, Lickona, and Davidson, describe performance character traits as qualities that help individuals self regulate their thoughts and behaviours that support achievement of goals. Traits such as grit, resilience, hard worker, perseverance, diligence, self control, self regulation…. They’re not bad traits at all, but taken out of the bigger picture of character and character education, they can start to be problematic.
What research has shown is the benefits that developing performance traits; a school that focused on performance traits showed students to have higher levels of perseverance and community connectedness over an academic year. The problem with performance traits, however, is that they cannot be claimed to be either good or bad. Intrinsically they are neutral, a blank trait that can be applied in a good or bad situation. The best example I can give is when one of my lecturer’s stated “even a criminal has to be gritty and resilient if they want to break into a car or house.” Traits such as perseverance, self regulation, diligence, and grit can be applied as much to cheating in an exam as well as doing your homework so you can pass an exam honestly.
So should we stop developing performance character traits in our young people?
Of course not! We should still develop these traits in young people but alongside a moral imperative.
What are moral character traits? Noddings, Walker, and Pitts state that moral character is the traits that help individuals strive for ethical behaviours and values that have an impact on their relationships with others and communities. Examples of moral traits include, kindness, compassions, empathy, integrity, and social responsibility. As part of the research mentioned above (about performance traits), a school that focused on the development of moral traits showed students to show a high increase in integrity and social responsibility that are intrinsically good regardless of context.
To develop a well-rounded, community minded, flourishing individual it becomes apparent that we have to focus on a mix of character traits that complement and support each other. But how can we effectively do this? The Jubilee Centre for Character and Virtues character "building blocks" shows an elegant and simple way to express this mix, they divide traits into four categories: moral, civic, intellectual, and performance. The Jubilee Centre stresses the importance of the moral traits being the overarching traits that guide the other categories. The VIA Institute on Character classifies their 24 character strengths into 6 categories: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence. The VIA Institute on Character emphasises the importance of all classifications in the development of character in individuals.
What becomes self evident is that we human beings are complex creatures, but given the right support and encouragement, the right guidance and role models to emulate, we can develop a well-rounded sense of character within ourselves, a well-rounded sense that will see us thrive and flourish in all areas of our lives.
Duckworth, A., & Seligman, M. (2005). Self-discipline outdoes IQ in predicting aca- demic performance of adolescents. Psychological Science, 16, 939-944.
Lickona, T., & Davidson, M. (2005). Smart and good high schools. Washington, DC:
Character Education Partnership.
Noddings, N. (1988). An ethics of caring and its implications for instructional arrange- ments. American Journal of Education, 96, 215-230.
Walker, L., & Pitts, R. (1998). Naturalistic conceptions of moral maturity. Developmental Psychology, 34, 403-419.
There is something of the controversial and confrontational in the understanding of humility in our society today. I say this, with an honest hand on heart, that I even find, within myself, a certain struggle in understanding humility and applying it to my own life and sense of self. Growing up, especially in the eighties and nineties, to be humble was not “cool” - in fact we were actively encouraged to be as big, loud, and out there as possible. Think big shoulder pads, big hair, and even bigger egos. Our role models were people who made big bucks in banking and investments, celebrities who were extravagant and unapologetic for their “live big” lifestyles, and sports stars who were focused primarily on winning, winning, winning and who would chuck massive tantrums if they lost. Success was defined by being the best and having the most material things - money, property, objects. Life was aspirational in a capitalist way, material objects revealed status, if you weren’t aiming for the large house with large furniture and a fancy car in the garage there was something wrong with you. In the eighties and nineties humility was seen as a weakness and a character trait that would not help you achieve individual success in life; achieving the socially accepted BIG life meant there was no space, no place, for humility.
Humility comes from the root words of humilitas and humus, meaning “the earth beneath us.” What this says to me is that humility is about being grounded, grounded in ourselves and in the world around us, in being grounded in the truth of our lives, our successes and our failures. Humility is not a weakness, but like the earth that stands so solidly beneath our feet, humility is strength in knowing our true selves; it takes strength in the feedback and comments of others; it takes strength in the knowledge of doing what it takes to be the best moral and ethical person that we can be. Humility is finding strength is your abilities, your knowledge, your character, and using these strengths to help others grow, learn, and succeed. There is power in humility, there is power in the deep, pro-social connections humility assists you in making. Humility is that beautiful middle ground between vanity/pride and self deprecation. In Don Quixote humility is said to be the base and foundational virtue of all the virtues and without humility no other virtue would exist. So I ask you, do you cultivate humility in your own life? Or in the lives of the kids you work with or parent?
How can we cultivate our humility? And what impact will cultivating humility have on our lives and the lives of others?