Have you ever had something big happen, and the impact of this thing reverberates into the days, weeks, and months of your goal journey, sometimes interrupting the process, sometimes inspiring the process? This has happened to me, and the past two weeks have been a process of stopping and starting as I try to work with this thing. I have mentioned this thing before, it is the death of my mum. As I am trying to learn to live with my family's loss, I am also trying to work hard on developing the lifestyle that I want, but balancing the two can result in a bit of a juggle. One day is good and I get a bucketload of work done, other days are not so good and I try to be kind to myself, and rest, relax, do some yoga, do some craft.
We all have "things" happen in life, it doesn't necessarily have to be a death in the family, it could be a divorce, a job loss, an illness, a house move, a business failure, anything that changes your life forever. These things change you irrevocably, but you have to try and accept the change and work with it in your goal journey, making it a part of your goal journey.
The issue I have been working with the past few weeks is how to work my grief into my goal journey in such a way that it will make a positive impact on my life and goal success. You see, my Mum always had this thing she used to say to me, "I just want you to be happy." This has stuck with me for years, Mum knew that you had to really live your life to be happy, and so that has been a life goal of mine and it is a goal that is an intrinsic part of all my other goals. Losing Mum was the toughest thing I have ever experienced, but I don't want to become lost in my grief, I want to embrace it and use it to empower my life and make my life happy, just as Mum wanted. So working this aspect into my goal journey the past few weeks, whilst tough, has revealed to me a few key points:
1. We can only do so much of everything before it becomes too much. Don't try and take on to much of one thing, aim to get some balance in your life and in your goal journey. You might have the desire to work 24/7 but in the end your just going to burn out, and it isn't going to solve the big issues that have cropped up in your life. Rest, relax, play, focus, work, be passionate, slow down, rest, relax, and play. Balance, Balance, Balance!
#Action Point - Grab your calender and a brightly coloured pen or pencil, highlight or shade in any free spots on your calender, they can be spare minutes, hours, or even days. These spare moments are your little "freedom spots," and use them as such, to do something for you, AND don't feel guilty about it.
2. Integrate your life issue into your purpose. Don't see them as being separate, see them as being of mutual help to each other. A big change in life can make you question your purpose and focus in life (it certainly did with me!), instead of fighting it though, soak it in, use it to find out who you are now and where you truly want to go with your goals.
#Action Point - Take a pen and paper and jot down a few links between your life issue and your purpose, for example: My grief links into my desire to motivate others in their life; how you might be asking? My grief has made me realise how short life really is and how we really can't stand back and wait for life to happen to us, we have to make it happen ourselves, this is a lesson I take to my clients to kickstart their motivation. You can use your link to help motivate you and/or your clients/customers.
3. And linking to that above action point - life is too short, and you can't stand back and let life happen to you, you have to take it by the bull horns, get off your arse, and make stuff happen! Tragedy in life can take you one of two ways, it can make you descend into a darkness that you can't get out of, or it can fire you up and make you appreciate life even more, please take the fire up option! I know it can be hard, trust me, I know, I know, I know, but it has to be a very conscious choice, a very purposeful choice to take that path, but I know you can do it.
#Action Point - Taking up that pen and paper again, write down 3 things you really want to do before you die that you could do in the next 6 months, create a mini bucket list if you will ... here's my 3: travel to Cork in Ireland, more than double my monthly income, do a transcendental meditation course. Definitely 3 things I can get done in 6 months. Stick this list somewhere where you can see it everyday, remind yourself about what you really want to do so you will get out there and do it!
If you have any other questions about integrating life into your goal journey please don't hesitate to email me - firstname.lastname@example.org