No there isn't. Not at all. You see, to ask for help is actually the sign of three particular things 1. Awareness, 2. Self Knowledge and 3. Strength.
1. Awareness - Asking for help (in either the personal or professional) is a clue that you are awake, seeing, and listening to the world around you. You can see that time is a ticking on and that to move forward you need to acknowledge that you need to keep up with others, improve, and assess. Being aware of the need to ask others for help when you need it is a step in the right direction.
2. Self knowledge - This fits in with awareness, but an awareness of the internal, or the mind. To be able to ask for help you have to have an awareness of your self knowledge. You see we are really creatures that like to learn new things, but the only way to learn new things is to acknowledge that YOU don't know everything. Now I know this is hard, but it is the truth, and until you are aware of your self knowledge and ask for help, you cannot grow as a person.
3. Strength - When you have awareness and self knowledge, you then have the potential to have the strength to not be embarrassed or feel shame in asking for help. YOU are a strong person when you can acknowledge your limitations and your need for help to push yourself beyond your borders.
I know all this because I have felt it all before. The being aware of the skill and knowledge of other motivational speakers and business people, the self knowledge that I didn't know enough to be the best that I could be, and the strength to ask for peoples help, which has pushed me beyond my self imposed borders. In both speaking and marketing, website stuff and networking, I have to admit there has been collaboration in the processes. Without the support and assistance of others this speaking business would be tough. So don't be afraid to ask for help, don't be ashamed to admit that you don't know everything, and don't be embarrassed to want support - we are inherently social creatures (in varying degrees) and we could not get far in life without other people in the equation.
(image via saysie)
(image via jbon84)
For me, my whole life, I have had attitude. Big, mega, in-your-face attitude . . . but not the attitude that you are thinking of. I'm not talking about the angry, violent, stressed crazy attitude that seems to be afflicting a lot of people lately, but the quiet, driven, "I can do it myself" attitude. Yes, positive attitude, that captures peoples attention in a more receptive way.
You see, I was taught by my (very smart) parents to have a "can do" attitude and this rubbed off on me so strongly that it has stuck with me through life, even when the chips are down and I have felt confused about where to go and what to do. Keeping this "can do" attitude, however, drives you forward, you strive to get yourself out of difficult, or uncontrollable situations, because you are taking responsibility for your own actions. This is where the correct attitude comes into play.
If you have "bad" attitude you are more likely to play the "victim" card, blaming everyone else for the situation that you are in and giving into the helplessness that seeps into your thoughts. You expect others to dig you out of the hole you're in and when they don't you get angry and in their face and, in extreme cases, violent and uncontrollable towards others (I can't help but think of the London riots last summer . . .).
If you have "good" attitude you are more likely to "own" the situation, admit your mistakes, and plot your way out of the situation you find yourself in. "Good" attitude is all about positive action and realising that it is up to you to get yourself ahead in life (and if your lucky you will have the support of family and friends - but you don't need to rely on them all the time). When you "own" the situation you are taking responsibility for your actions and this is a very powerful position to be standing in. When you take control you can structure your life to the way you want it, the way that is best for you and you alone.
Do you have "good" or "bad" attitude? Would you like to change your attitude for the better? Let me know what you think - email@example.com
I put work aside today and took advantage of the gorgeous day to go for a drive to the Dales in Yorkshire. I don't often let go of work like this, but I think the occasional flight of fancy is good for your moral and your creativity - I have returned very inspired and ready to start tackling client lists, Logo design, and book writing. Went right up through to Malham and had a yummy lunch at the local pub and then went for a drive to Middleham and then back down through Ripon and finally back to Leeds. It was a great day and one I would like to repeat often . . .
Then I got home . . .
and there, waiting for me in my inbox was a rejection email from the BBC for the Presentable training program. I admit, my heart sank and disappointment dwelled heavy in my throat . . . but, only for a moment did these feelings overtake all other thoughts. You can't avoid feelings of disappointment, in fact it's perfectly natural to be disappointed when something you particularly want doesn't come through. We all set our hearts on things that we think will be good for us, great for us, take us in another direction, and when you don't get it, what do you do then?
Well, what do I do? I remember that it isn't the be all and end all of my world. I am not defined by the "wanted" thing and my career isn't over just because one particular element hasn't come good, in fact, I am more defined by the way that I deal with the moment and the emotion. So, instead of getting down I get up! I look at all the other things I have going and I focus on what is working and what is happening now. Just because the BBC placement train hasn't arrived doesn't mean I am not leaving the station on a better, more creative train on my own exciting journey.
So my message today is - make, get, take your own train; you are on your own journey and sometimes things may not come through for you, but you are more that just that one event, you are every possibility that you make, every creative step that you take. Don't get down, get up,
(image via norm_p)
Guess where I went last week? I went to Manchester for a few days for two very good, very interesting reasons. Firstly, I went to Manchester to attend my first ever Professional Speaking Association meeting. Secondly, I went to Manchester to experience something new . . . I attended a Rammstein Concert (never heard of Rammstein? check out one of the their music video clips here)
So, how did my first ever PSA meeting go? Well, I, myself, as a motivational and inspirational speaker, was inspired and motivated myself. I have never felt more like my speaking career is where I am meant to go, what I am meant to do. I gained so much knowledge and encouragement from these fellow speakers. The biggest tip that I "learnt" (because I didn't really learn it, I knew it already, but it was hammered into me as a very important thing to do) is to "ask" people . . . all the time. Ask for work, ask for help, ask for support, ask, ask, ask. Because, to point out the obvious, if you don't ask you won't get. Some of the speakers that actually spoke to us that night included - Paul McGee, Richard Mccann, and Geoff Ramm. What I have learnt from this group of speakers is that we have to collaborate, work together, be a group, and through this mutual support, be successful as indivi
My other reason for going to Manchester was the Rammstein concert. Now, I am trying very hard to open myself to new experiences, because to grow as a person you need to expose yourself to the new, you have to let go of preconceived notions and embrace an open mind in everything that you do. I went to the concert with as open a mind as possible . . . and guess what? I loved it!! It was like theatre, with really hard core rock music. The pyrotechnics were amazing, the music awesome, the band members quite goodlooking (I think I have developed a thing for German men!!). It really was an eye-opening night, and one that emphasized the point of embracing new ideas and new experiences. This can be applied to all aspects of your life.
All in all, my time in Manchester was well spent, successful, and inspirational